"Now I'm Born and Raised"

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about how much time I spend driving on the Interstate alone. I’ve been thinking about only the second of probably many W-4 forms I recently filled out for my job. I’ve been thinking about how I need to balance my checkbook. I’ve been thinking about my career, my future, my passions. I’ve been thinking about how I’m not old enough for this. All of this thinking ties together somehow. They are all adult things. Mind you, I haven’t started shopping in Lowe’s for fun yet. That’ll happen around my mid to late 20’s, though I do enjoy the garden section. These adult things have another thing in common. They all hit you in college. College is no joke. You’re on your own, you’re scared, and you’re expected to magically grow up within a few months. Hopefully you’ve done a bit of growing and preparing before this time comes along, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. You don’t have to completely grow up just yet. Sure, you should probably know how to do your own laundry and how to work the gas nozzle at the Kangaroo, among other tasks, but you are not expected to have your entire future planned out perfectly and set in stone. Remember? It’s ok to feel lost. I know I certainly don’t have mine planned out. In fact, I don’t really have a clue, but that’s what college is for. Figuring out what you like and what you don’t like.

I’ve had my fair share of indecisiveness. My first career choice when I was younger was to be Sheryl Crow when I grew up, and that’s honestly still my backup plan. I went from wanting to be a chef to a vet, a nurse, a journalist, a historian, an OB-GYN, a family counselor, and a vocalist. As of now, I’m on track to be a vocalist, and even that thinking has changed since I came to college. I love singing. It’s what I’m good at, and started with it because of that reason, but now I’m finding other things that I’m good at and that I enjoy. I enjoy writing, history, philosophy, psychology. My main two options that I’ve narrowed it down to so far are a contemporary artist/singer/songwriter and a music therapist. Sometimes you have to imagine these scenarios as if they were real and figure out all the possibilities along the way to give yourself a better idea.

As a contemporary artist, I see myself anywhere from Nashville to New York or even California if I’m really lucky. I know. These are a long shot. Obviously the risks with this career choice are much higher than others. Work in this business is tough. You could have all the credentials in the world, and they still couldn’t want you if you didn’t have the right sound. This could inevitably lead to financial issues. I could take a music business class to understand how the system works, and I’m already putting together a creative ensemble to hopefully emulate this career path and maybe even help it grow. It’s just a matter of doing it.

As a music therapist, I see myself literally anywhere in the country, preferably somewhere farther north than here. Music therapists, much like other therapists, can specialize with certain clients. I’d love to see myself working in a hospital in rehabilitation for cancer patients or maybe even working with pediatrics. I’ve always been interested in the care-taking part of the medical field, but science was never my strongest subject, so I see this as putting two of the things I love the most together and going about it a different way.

I can see myself easily going either of these paths, but for now, I plan to explore both and keep learning about myself along the way. I might not be Sheryl Crow, but when I look back to five year old Laura-Clare singing “Soak Up the Sun” in the back seat of the car, she wasn’t too far off with her aspirations. Here I am, guitar in hand, working on different Fleetwood Mac songs. Not much has changed. No matter how ridiculous your dream job seems, just go with it for a while. You might end up surprising yourself. Nothing is ever set, and life is full of changes for a reason. Just listen to Matilda, “Just because I find myself in this story, doesn’t mean that everything is written for me.”